What if
by Briff
Summary: Gibbs and Ziva have an explanation after a stakeout that turned badly.
1. Chapter 1

It was a challenge to write this fiction in English because it is not my first language. Ditte, I hope you will like it. So my first and last fiction about Gibbs

and Ziva, my favorite pairing.

**

* * *

**

**Ziva closed her eyes, her teeth began chattering. If only she could figure out why she was waiting for this witness here. She fought her way through the slush, as she walked from the car to the warehouse. Now she shivered badly wondering what kept her boss so long.**

"_**Where**_** exactly has he gone ?" she grumbled.**

**The warehouse was ****dilapidated. Beneath stood the gloomy entrance, she decided to creep in the corner of the block, waiting for Gibbs. Once again Ziva concentrated in the earphones. No voice, nothing.**

" **Damn it, I can't hear anything," **

**She was in a panic now, she could feel ****the heartbeats into her chest. This kind of feeling was new for her. As she got into the desafected house resolute to find the witness at any cost, her phone vibrated. Ziva drew it out for a look. It was Gibbs at last. **

" _**Ziva,**_** talk to me," he said with a very hurried voice.**

"**Gibbs, no witness in the house**_** but**_** my earphones didn't work out," she whispered. **

"**G****et out of this building right now," he said angrily. "And remember what I told you, never alone! " **

"**Got it," she sighed.**

**Her boss ****was always expressing orders towards her or Tony and Tim badly but Ziva knew him far more than anyone else, it was his manner to show how he was upset and concerned. Anyway, being herself uncomfortable in that gloomy place, she took his directives with relief. The lights were down. Ziva approached from the opposite sidewalk, confident that she was invisible on the darkened street, she really did not want to get trapped. Gibbs was gone for so long now that Ziva imagined he had abandoned her. **

**All of sudden, she heard footsteps behind her ****and instantly turned round to see who was coming."Gibbs?" No response. She drew her gun but it was too late, the guy put his arms clumsily around her and pulled her to him so that she was squashed up against his chest. Her past Mossad experience helped her to resist a while but the aggressor was stronger. Ziva tried to keep her eyes opened to identify him in vain. She couldn't handle it anymore. Her vision became blurred after the fatal blow she had received. Then, images kept on unfolding in flashbacks in her head, she began to tremble with the memory of these last events happened four months ago where she was being kept confined in Somalia. Then, it became quiet around her, she fell into such strange swirling darknesses. Her nightmare came to an end when a hand stroked her hair softly, someone called her name desesperately but the voice was so far away and echoed in her head. **

" **Come on Ziver, stay with me. I don't want to lose you again," Gibbs said in a toneless voice.**

"_**Gibbs**_**," she thought. She would have recognized his voice anywhere but what was he saying precisely? She was in complete delirium for sure. **

" **Mhrrggh," she moaned.**

"**Open your eyes," he said while shaking her softly. **

**Her head was throbbing, she wanted to sleep now. **

" **No**** Ziva," he said loudly this time.**

**Ziva**** did her best to rouse herself. A few minutes later, she could make out her boss with some difficulty though. He gazed steadily at her, as if he could not believe that the woman laid flat before him was Ziva.**

" **Come on, lean against me"**

**She flickered awake again****, her head on his shoulder. She felt safe now. They walked to the car, Gibbs helped her in.**

"**We go to the nearest hospital."**

**Ziva still**** half unconscious touched the cloth of his coat at his chest, this contact was a kind of compensation for her. Gibbs was a bit confused by her gesture, he pulled himself together and mumbled:**

" **Ziva**** we gotta go." **

**Unable to speak, ****Ziva nodded. For a moment, she thought it was snowing again and everything seemed so distant. Then she realized it was snowing inside the car too. She fell asleep at last. **

**Ziva only remembered the emergency room, the lights and her being constantly forced to wake up. Reluctantly she made an effort to stay in the real world. Doctors said she had a brain concussion but nothing really severe.**

**On the morning, Ziva was in her room****. Her co-workers had rushed to the hospital to see if she had recovered after the aggression**_**. " Everybody was here except Gibbs"**_** she thought. At that moment he entered the room, Ziva was standing by the windows, her arms folded across her chest. She tilted her head and considered him for a long moment. Both did not need to say word to express what they felt. They have always understood each other. After a silence that seemed an eternity, Gibbs cleared his throat and said: **

" **How are you Ziva?"**

" **I 'm fine... Gibbs....," Ziva hesitated.**

" **I wasn't able to catch your agressor. He ran away after...," he said.**

" **I'd rather not talk about it," she said quickly. " I want to go home now."**

" **No you can't," he said tactless.**

" **We're not at work Gibbs, I don't want to receive **_**orders**_** from you here," she said bitterly. **

"**Why would you want to say that?" He was really irritated by her impulsive reaction.**

" **Just to keep things simple, I'm getting home Agent **_**Gibbs**_**" Ziva said stubbornely. **

"**Clear Agent **_**David**_**," he added ironically.**

**There was**** an awkward silence between them. Ziva gazed at him with open impertinence as she used to do it four years ago. In response she could only meet Gibbs' cold stare. She walked to where he stood. He seemed really taken aback and not prepared for this kind of confrontation though. She had always been the only one to stand up to him. But things had changed now, at least he was hoping for it. He really did not need to stir up tensions again with her. **

" **Ok, I'll see with the doctors and I drive you home," he said.**

**One mo****ment later they were in the car, Ziva sat as still as wood, determined to give nothing away but he did not speak either. After a while, she said:**

" **You make me sad****."**

" **Really?" he said with a smirk on his face.**

"**You seem so, I don't know... guilty maybe ?" Gibbs remained silent. "Tell something."**

" **What," he shouted.**

" **I mean, say something. The way you do." she replied obstinely.**

**He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then hesitated. Ziva was furious now.**

"**What's wrong with you?" **

"**Nothing,"**** he mumbled. **

**Ziva tried another tactic to open him.**

"**Ok **_**Jethro**_**, so what are we **_**doing **_**now ?" her voice was a bit provocative.**

" _**Ziva**_**...," Gibbs smirked. "**_**This woman was so unpredictable**_**," he thought. **

**They were silent again, both lost in their thoughts. Against all expectations Gibbs said:**

" **I shou****ld have proctected you yesterday, you understand that. " He cleared his throat. "Damn it," he said with evident disappointement. Ziva kept silent.**

**Gibbs accelerated impulsively after his statement, she gripped the door **** was he thinking then ? She studied her boss for some signs of how he was at that moment but as usual he remained stony-faced. She thought that their relationship had changed a lot since the last four years. A misunderstanding had cast a chill between them but fortunately a status quo was established for the time being . **

**A moment later,**** they walked side by side. As they turned the corner, Ziva stumbled on an obstacle, and in the motion, he reached for her arm. **

" **Are you ok,"Gibbs said worriedly.**

" **Yes," she said.**

" **Ziver, " he stopped. "What happened yesterday... I am sorry."**

**Ziva shook her head slightly.**

"**It doesn't matter." **

**She was confused now. A few days ago, she had asked him personally for forgiveness too but both knew it was a sign of weakness.**

" **Alright. ****Come on, I think we better get on this street."**

**Then, t****hey climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. Clearly, Gibbs did not know what he was doing here at Ziva's appartment but his protective instinct told him to come with her. He was still upset with what had happened last night .**

**He**** stood unmoving for a moment. And then he stepped forward. She thought he might speak to her. Instead, Gibbs lifted her chin with his fingertips. He raised it high and then higher, so that she was forced to look into his eyes. It was difficult to draw her attention since her return from Israel. "**_**His touch was so brief and soft,"**_**she thought**_**. **_**It reminded her of the day in the interrogation room. Then, he came close to her, she could feel his breath on her face. **

"**You're **_**home**_** now," Gibbs said softly. This statement was symbolical for her.**

"**Gibbs.. "**

**He stopped her. "T****ake care Ziva".**

**They exchanged a deep look, then ****Ziva turned away. Gibbs took an involuntary step toward her and put a hand out, as if he wanted to touch her again but then stopped himself just in time. Ziva stood there looking at him walk away. Everything was tangled in her head. Gibbs had always been there for her, loyal and trustful unlike her father. He had always consoled her when things went bad. At that instant, she clearly did not know what Gibbs felt, he had never said she was like his daughter. Ziva was not Kelly and will never replace his beloved little girl. Then, she remembered the last time they were in his basement**_**."The closest thing I have to a father"**_** she thought, at least she believed it so far, maybe their relationship was far more complicated than it seemed first.**

**_What was it that passed between them tonight?_**

* * *

Tell me what you think Zibbs shippers.


	2. Chapter 2

You kindly asked me to continue. I added "hint hint "for PeachKate, but I'm not good at that. it is possible that some expressions sound a bit frenchy. I

translated litterally. I took a bit of " Child's play "with Angela. I don't own anything.

* * *

Ziva stopped at the corner of the street, panting. " Damn it !" she shouted . She took a deep look around her but there were no signs of the child.

Earlier this morning, she had been ordered to keep an eye on the girl, a crucial witness involved in a sordid case. Angela had taken the advantage

after a momentary laspe of concentration. Reluctantly, Ziva walked quickly to the front door where Gibbs was standing still.

" The girl is nowhere." Ziva looked away embarrassed.

" You haven't heard anything," Gibbs looked at her.

It was not an indulgent gaze. Ziva could feel its nearly intolerable intensity.

" It's my fault," she added quickly but Ducky spoke to stand up for her.

" It's both of your faults," Gibbs said looking at Ducky. "Now focus and fix on it."

Tim and Tony were speechless, Ziva was going to have a bad time with the boss they thought.

Ziva felt the heat of blood rushing to her ears and looked down for a moment.

"_David _with me." Gibbs said dismissively.

He grasped her arm bluntly and pushed her in the car. They both remained silent for a while.

" I know what you're going to say Gibbs," she said. " I screwed it up once again."

"Yeah you did," he replied sharply. "You were supposed to stay with her. Is it too complicated _David ?"_

" No."

At that instant Gibbs' phone rang.

" Yeah Gibbs." The girl was safety, Ziva sighed with relief. He hung up.

" Did I make myself clear Ziva ? The next time I..." She interrupted him.

" You will kick my butt I know" she said with open impertinence.

" What do you think you're playing at ?" he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Nothing."

Ziva found it difficult to meet his eye after her statement, although she assumed totally the consequences.

She turned to face him. " _Gibbs_..." and without thinking she slid her fingers slowly up his arms. He frowned at her.

" You flirt with risk _Ziva_," he said with a smirk.

They exchanged a deep look. None of them speaking.

" I'm tired of pretending Gibbs." _He was not her surrogate father_ she thought. Ziva moved closer now.

She was tugging on his fingers " Truce?" she said.

" Ziva, stop it." Their hands collided now. It was the only gesture they had allowed so far. _Ziva,_ Gibbs whispered into the side of her hair.

He wanted to hold her face, to bring it up to him and kiss her. Ziva felt this hesitation. So, she pulled away from him. " You're right. It will be too

complicated.'

And then, that is all_. What was it that passed between them?._ It must have been love but their relationships will remain unspoken forever she thought.


End file.
